Sunday, February 21, 2016

Crying again.

I tried to sleep but failed.
It's 2 AM now when I started writing this.
So I'm crying because I miss you so much lately; still thinking you avoid me purposedly.
I wish you missed me like I do.
I feel like I'm crazily missing you and I cried like I've never cried in a long time.
I actually feel pain in my chest.

I read our old chats, and sometimes I see some sort of feeling in everything you said, I just didn't dare to dream about it.
I feel really sorry that I hid so much of my feeling when I actually feel something for you; tho I'm not sure that if I did show you earlier, would you runaway just like what you do now?

Then I came to this realization:
I've done so much chasing you around lately that it dropped my own dignity and honor of myself, chat you first, called you.
I also remembered when I told you that this time I want to be the one being chased by someone I love; and you replied me that you also need to do the other way around, to chase and to give more effort for someone you love.

So let me do the right thing now, I will no longer "beg" for someone to love me in any form.
Let them love me properly.
And let those who left me regret whatever they've done to me.

I want to be loved; just not like this.

Let them see value in me.

Still crying and trying to sleep, I wish you also feel my pain for missing me, too.

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