"Have faith"

IR (7:18PM): Gpp hehehe

IR (7:18PM): Have faith

I must admit have faith is a small phrase with so much meaning, effort, in it.

I often tell my friends whom consulted to me about their problems, life obstacles; whatever it is; to have faith in what God has planned for us for God can foresee--well, actually no, God KNOWS and make everything falls into its place. God knows best about what we need, what we actually would want. God knows the depth of our hearts.

Or so I tell them.

But I know God does know.

But you know, I often mixed up my feelings and what I logically understand well; in this case about how my future's going to be. I have so much worries that things won't work out. This makes me feel so unfair: to my friends, to myself, to God.

To my friends: because I even dare to tell them to "Have faith in what God has planned for you." but I'm having a hard time to live up to it. I'm not gonna say excuses such as "Well, I'm still human." or "I will face a hard time few times." But I merely share what I've been going through before--which I'm going to explain next--and I want them to believe that things ARE going to be better.

To myself: well, as I have said before, I've been in situations that I can actually see how God worked greatly in changing my life before. I've been showed His promises he'd make real in my life. I'm not lying. Here, let me tell you: I've been through the worst part of my life and I can only explain how it went for me like this: it WAS bad.

Knew that everything's going to fall apart, I wanted to make everything to be just exactly like I expected. I struggled to fix it myself; well I was stubborn (and I still am lol); only to find my life was getting messier. I had to face the same heartbreak for three times to find out that I actually couldn't force my wills against God's. How long that was? A year; an easy said year but it sure felt like decades of miseries.

Then I only asked God to give me what He knows I need best in my life. I cried my heart out to God: please, please God, don't make me hurt like that because it hurts me so much I can't take it anymore.

His replies? It went like this: I never want you to go through those heartbreaks, but I need you to feel it so that I can understand that you actually NEED ME and that I've always been around you. Now, let me fix it for you. Just trust me.

Well, my life is slowly getting better now, not exactly like how I wanted, though. I tried to see it from God's perspective and I realized: well, I asked for what He knows I need best, here it is. And it only happens when I feel like I can't do anything to change my life to what I want.

So why exactly I feel unfair to myself? It's merely because if I were strong and humble enough to let God had the chance to make everything right, why can't I see it now?

To God: I've stated before about God have done to make me see He's in charge in my life. God is in progress making me a greater and stronger woman. If I can actually trust him before, why can't I now? I feel like I'm disappointing Him now. I'm being unfair.

...

Honestly I heard God's reassurance just right while I was writing this post.

"Faith needs to be polished and strengthen and I'm not expecting you to do it right now. I just hope that at your worst, you still can trust that I'm able. Just walk down the path you have to take, don't think much about what's coming up; focus on what you have to do right, right now. I'll always be around you. If it's easy, the process would mean nothing."

I hope this would help people whom are reading this now.

"When you feel like your life is falling apart, God is actually making it falls into the right place."